EASY TAX SOLUTIONS
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Stan Lebahn: Enrolled Agent: Licensed to practice before the IRS
Click on the link above, then simply enter a topic in the search box. It’s a lot quicker than clalling the IRS phone line and more acurate, I’m sure!
As a personalized service, I take the time needed for each individual!
The IRS checked up on a large charity donation made by a Mr. Thompson. The investigator asked the minister of the church about the contribution: "Did Mr. Thompson give a gift of ten thousand dollars last year?"
A bright, young, fresh-out-of-school auditor just joined the IRS, excited to begin tracking down high-powered tax evaders.
Anxious for his first high-powered audit, he was a bit dismayed when his assignment was to audit a Rabbi.
Looking over the books and taxes were pretty straight forward, and the Rabbi was clearly very frugal, so he thought he'd make his day interesting by having a little fun with the Rabbi.
"Rabbi," he said, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles."
"Yes," answered the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked.
"A good question," noted the Rabbi. "We actually save them up and when we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker. And every now and then, they send us a free box of candles."
"Oh," replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his unusual question actually had a practical answer, so he thought he'd go on, in his obnoxious way...
"Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs from the matzo?"
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi calmly, "we actually collect up all the crumbs from the matzo and when we have enough, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a box of matzo balls."
"Oh," replied the auditor, thinking hard now how to fluster the Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions?"
"Yes, here too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins, and when we have enough we actually send them to the I.R.S."
"The I.R.S.?," questioned the auditor in disbelief.
"Ahh, yes," replied the Rabbi, " the I.R.S. " ...and about once a year, they send us a little prick like you."
An old preacher
An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his Lawyer (both church members) to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.
Both the IRS agent and Lawyer were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moment. They were also puzzled because the preacher had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.
Finally, the Lawyer asked, "Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?"
The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go, too."
The owner of a small deli was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year.
"Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said. "I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days a year. And you want to know how I made $80,000?"
"It's not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It's these deductions. You listed six trips to Bermuda for you and your wife."
"Oh, that," the owner said smiling. "I forgot to tell you - we also deliver."
Another Novel Letter to the IRS!
April 23, 2001
Internal Revenue Service
Enclosed is my 2001 tax return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from the February 8, 2001 USA Today newspaper which serves as my Year 2000 Tax guide.
In the article, you will see that the Pentagon pays $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.
Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029). This brings my total payment to $3429.00. Please note the overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. Might I suggest you the send the above mentioned fund a 1.5 inch screw.
(See attached article...HUD paid $22.00 each 1.5 inch Phillips head screw.)
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.
If Congress can pay farmers not to raise crops,
Did you ever notice?
Doing your own income tax return is a lot like a do-it-yourself mugging.
The information belloow has been collected from varios sources. All of it is anonomous.
One gentleman recently wrote asking for some tax advice and this is what happened.
My bank paid an IRS Levy with no funds in my account. They mailed me a letter previous to sending the funds to the IRS stating my funds were being held. I was able to withdraw these funds through their ATM with my debit card, which left insufficient funds to pay the levy. The bank has filed a suit in small claims court seeking repayment of these funds claiming that my account is in overdraft. My contention is they paid the IRS with insufficient funds in the account and did not exercise due diligence in controlling the funds.”